Disciplining achild isn’t about punishing them, it’s about improving their behavior. Only then can they grow uptobepsychologically and socially stable adults. But the same tactics for teaching discipline toa2-year-old won’t work with a10-year-old. Many parents may betempted toresort topunishments asaremedy for all ages, but there are other more simple and effective strategies recommended bypediatricians toteach children tobedisciplined.
Bright Side has summed upaset ofsteps, for you, todisciplining your kids according totheir age.
1to2-year-olds
One to2-year-olds are inaphase known asthe early toddler stage. They like toexplore their world, sogoahead and let them. Just besure tonot leave the child alone and tosupervise them tomake sure they doesn’t harm themselves and others.
THINGS TOAVOID:
- Timeouts, toddlers are very sensitive tothe fear ofabandonment.
- Yelling, they shouldn’t experience asense ofbeing unloved.
- Prohibitions and lengthy explanations, their language isstill developing and they’re not old enough toknow how tointerpret and respond tothem.
TRY INSTEAD:
- Moving the toddler from the source ofharm, whether it’s anactivity orobject, and command asolid “NO.” You can accompany itwith aclear explanation like a“NO, it’s hot.”
- Redirecting the child’s attention toanother object orscene.
- Staying close tothe child tomake sure they don’t experience feelings ofbeing unloved and unprotected, and toavoid any harm done.
2to3-year-olds
Late toddlers, thatis, children between 2and 3years old, are onaconstant effort togain autonomy and self-assertion, while learning there are limitations. This leads tofrustration and the long-dreaded temper tantrums.
THINGS TOAVOID:
- Prohibiting things
- Ignoring the child, assuming they’ll regain control ofthemselves shortly. That won’t happen.
- Spanking, always
TRY INSTEAD:
- Not losing control. Temper tantrums are not anger and defiance. Try toempathize with the toddler, sothat you don’t show frustration.
- Removing the child from the scene.
- Calming them byholding them sothat they can pull themselves together again. Ask why they’re behaving like that. Maybe they’re scared, stressed, ortired.
- Explaining the situation calmly and clearly. Then comforting them and giving them anexample ofappropriate behavior.
3to5-year-olds
Children who are atanage where they are attending preschool and kindergarten have learned toacknowledge reality and limitations, but still require some help tointernalize rules and develop reliable and sound judgment.
THINGS TOAVOID:
- Lectures and long talks, they will have noeffect onthe child’s behavior and could even becounterproductive.
- Threating the child, ifthere aren’t going tobeany consequences. This will only teach them that rules don’t really mean anything.
TRY INSTEAD:
- Establishing and consistently enforcing rules. They can now understand them and follow them.
- Giving the child some direction toshow them the appropriate behavior.
- Using atime-out ifthe kid isout ofcontrol. The number ofminutes should bethe same asthe age ofthe child, with amaximum of5minutes.
- Educating them byallowing the logical consequences oftheir bad conduct toimpact them.
- Preventing undesirable behavior bycomplimenting good behavior. This will encourage kids around these ages because they like togain other’s approval.
6to12-year-olds
Inthis period starting at6years old, children will begaining more and more autonomy, which they may want toaffirm infront oftheir parents and begin conflict. They can now pick their friends and interests, but parents are still incontrol ofthe important decisions since children between 6to12don’t always analyze their decisions asthoroughly asadults.
THINGS TOAVOID:
- Setting unrealistic punishments for bad behavior. Grounding a10-year-old with noNintendo for amonth probably won’t happen.
- Humiliating and embarrassing the kid for their unacceptable conduct infront ofother people. They need agood, well-rounded role model.
- Discussing the incident with the child, while trying todiscipline them. Otherwise, your authority will beoverruled.
TRY INSTEAD:
- Anonjudgmental reasonable talk
- Understanding age-appropriate behavior. Ifa6-year-old girl isswinging her legs while sitting, she’s just a6-year-old.
- Establishing and abiding bythe house rules. Always. This will confirm your authority.
- Removing ordelaying privileges like toys and dessert. Remember, you should berealistic.
- Letting the logical consequences oftheir bad behavior affect them.
13to18-year-olds
Adolescents are known for defying their parents values and rules. They’re trying tofind their own sense ofself and assert their individuality sothey distance themselves abit from their parents and tend toact impulsively. Soanera ofdifficult conflict begins.
THINGS TOAVOID:
- Deprecating the adolescent, especially infront ofstrangers and their peers.
- Lectures. Betransparent, precise, and direct with the message you want totransmit.
- The “Itold youso” inyour vocabulary.
TRY INSTEAD:
- Setting rules according totheir age, inanoncritical manner. It’s crucial that you abide bythem.
- Letting the natural consequences oftheir misconduct happen. Keep anonconfrontational attitude. Ifthey broke awindow with their soccer ball, let them pay for itwith their allowance.
- Negotiating about light subjects with ateenager. This gives them afeeling ofindependence and ofbeing part ofthe decision.
- Staying approachable. Many teens seek and want parental guidance and approval toguide their conduct.
Doyou know ofany other tactics that should beonthis list? Which age doyou think isthe hardest for teaching discipline? Write your thoughts below!
Illustrated by Natalia Okuneva-Rarakina
for
Bright Side
